So, you’ve just arrived on your first erotic hypnosis discord server. Maybe you have come over from listening to files, maybe you are simply curious about this as an aspect of BDSM, and maybe you are here for reasons as personal as you are an individual. The way you got here is your journey and we would love to hear it, but what now? How do you go about getting to trance for someone or put someone under? At first glance the answer is a simple one: ask. I mean, just look at that list of people, and they are grouped so conveniently for easy reference! Ask and ye shall receive right? Hold on there, stop. No.
This is a community of individuals, people just like you and me. They have their own lives, ambitions and personalities, even though they just appear as a name on a screen and their words are just text in a chat box. This is also a community that has grown over years and has a few unspoken rules regarding etiquette and politeness. These rules are often obvious common sense but some are unique to hypnosis or kink culture in general. Furthermore, they are here for a reason. I would like to go through a few of these unspoken rules with you today, mainly to help make your transition into the erotic hypnosis community as smooth as possible.
On that note, please bear in mind that I am going to be coming from a mainly subject/submissive perspective as that is my personal perspective and experience. If you are joining from a dominant/hypnotist perspective, a few adjustments might be necessary from your side.
Now that that is out of the way, let’s begin:
- Asking to hypnotise or be hypnotised in general chat: Please hold on a sec before doing this when you first arrive, indeed before doing this at all. You wouldn’t walk into a sex party asking at the top of your lungs for someone to have sex with you, the same goes here. If anything, it is even more important. One-on-one erotic hypnosis is a REALLY intense experience for most people, very akin to sex but with vastly more factors that can influence the experience for both parties. Do you trust your partner? Do you like what they do? Do you like each other? Is their style compatible with your preferences and vice versa? These are just a few things that can affect your enjoyment of the experience. Doing this also makes chat uncomfortable for others who are simply socialising. The best advice when you first arrive is to socialise, get to know people and let them get to know you. Just like dating, you can’t rush this and expect good results. If you simply want to experience hypnosis in a real time environment, most servers have open hypnosis rooms and hold sessions there that you can join, but I will deal with those later.
- Sending unsolicited DM’s: DM’s (or Direct Messages for those new to Discord) are private communications between two or more people held outside the server. Most kink servers, and almost all the hypnosis servers I have been a part of, have a strict policy against sending DM’s without permission. This is considered, with exceptions, very rude and unwelcome by most people. It might be tempting to find a few interesting people on a server and then message them privately for whatever reason, but please refrain from doing this. “But isn’t it like simply chatting to a person privately at a club?” Not at all. Not even close. The reason for this is that most members are here to indulge a hypno kink which, by virtue of being a kink, involves sexual undertones and most the risks inherent in other sexual activities with some extra ones added on. Thus, in addition to being rude, it allows members to choose who they engage with in a private setting and shields all parties from possible unpleasantness. Compare it to being in a club and having someone make advances on you without even speaking to you first and you wouldn’t be far off the mark. Basically, if you want to have a private conversation with another member, ask if it’s okay with them first and take it from there.
- Being submissive or dominant towards strangers in chat: For the love of all that is good in the world, please don’t do this! Having a partner to be submissive or dominant towards is an even more personal and intense choice than partnering with someone for hypnosis. Just because a person is tagged as either does not mean that they want to be thus for everyone that crosses their path, they are simply making their preferences known. Furthermore, in general it makes the chat uncomfortable at best and hostile at worst. Sure, you may witness some people having dom/sub interactions in chat, but in these cases the people involved have established dynamics that are known to the server in general and even these interactions are generally kept to a minimum. This can be easily compared to a relationship: You wouldn’t date every person who asks you out of the blue, would you? In all likelihood, you wouldn’t. The same can be applied here.
- Open triggers and strangers: For those new to erotic hypnosis or who haven’t come across this term, an open trigger is a post hypnotic suggestion that isn’t keyed to the hypnotist for their use alone, thus allowing others to trigger the subject in question. It’s tempting to partake in the fun when you see it happening, very tempting, but unless that particular person has given you permission to use his/her triggers, please refrain from doing so. Most subjects don’t enjoy strangers using their triggers and it can lead to unpleasant situations for all parties. A good comparison here would be having someone at a club hearing that you like being tickled and then coming up to you and, without getting your permission, proceeding to tickle you. It’s not fun in that situation and it’s not fun here.
- Joining open hypnosis rooms while a session is in progress: This can be tricky as it is difficult to ascertain what is happening in a voice room before actually joining. A good guideline though is to check in the text channel attached to the room and ask there. This is less disruptive to what might be happening than having a new person enter and possibly interrupting a session in progress. If it is a case where you are late to the session, please mute yourself before entering so as to be minimally disruptive. The way I do this is by joining an empty room and muting myself there before joining the room I want to be in as the settings seem to carry over. Think of it as joining an intense conversation halfway, you probably wouldn’t do it with a loud “So, what’s happening here then?” In all likelihood, you would sit quietly and listen to what’s going on before joining in and the same is considered good manners here.
- General etiquette and “common sense” stuff: Okay, even though this is my final point it is the one that strikes closest to home with me. Call it a pet peeve if you will, you won’t be wrong. When you are joining a hypnosis server, or indeed any server or community revolving around a shared interest, you are joining a community that has formed to share in their collective kink or interest. In most cases, that kink or interest will be all you share with the majority of other members. Discussing things outside this common factor is not unwelcome nor is it discouraged on most servers, but bear in mind that you will inevitably encounter people who hold beliefs, opinions or views that you disagree with. It will happen, prepare yourself for it. How you handle these encounters can have a massive impact on your enjoyment of the erotic hypnosis community as well as the enjoyment of other members. All I will say here, so as to avoid a tiresome rant from yours truly, is be respectful of your fellow members even if you disagree with them. Politeness and respect for others is the grease on the gears that allows us to have erotic hypnosis communities like this that are open to all and welcome everyone who wants to share in this wonderful kink of ours.
Well, that was a mouthful. This has probably been dealt with many times, in other places, but I do hope that my advice, which wasn’t too lecture-like and opinionated I hope, assists some newcomers to this community have better experiences and that you, the reader (whoever you may be), also found some enjoyment and value it. I wish you all well and trust that you will find great fun and pleasure in this erotic hypnosis community.